Self-love. It seems to be the buzzword of the moment, and for good reason. Learning to love yourself is arguably one of the most important things you can do in life. But what does self-love really mean?
Many of us think we have a pretty good understanding of what it means. But do we really?
According to psychologist Dr. Laurie Weiss, self-love is “embracing your true identity, including your faults and weaknesses.” In other words, self-love isn’t about being perfect or having everything together.
It isn’t even about feeling “in love” with yourself at all.
So what does self-love really look like? And more importantly, how can you cultivate it in your own life? Read on to find out.
The Benefits of Learning to Love Yourself
Before we get into what self-love looks like, let’s take a step back and look at some of the benefits of learning to love yourself.
1. Improved Mental Health
You treat yourself with kindness and compassion. This can help reduce stress and anxiety and lead to improved mental health overall.
2. Greater Happiness
You are generally happier than those who don’t. This is because they’re not constantly beating themselves up or putting themselves down. They accept themselves for who they are and make an effort to focus on the positive.
3. Increased Confidence
You tend to be more confident than those who don’t. This is because they know their worth, and they’re not afraid to show it. They don’t compare themselves to others, and they don’t try to be someone they’re not.
4. Better Relationships
You’re more likely to have healthy and fulfilling relationships. This is because you won’t tolerate anything less than what you deserve. You’ll also be more likely to attract people who love and respect you for who you are.
5. Greater Success
People who love themselves are more likely to achieve their goals and reach their full potential. This is because they believe in themselves and their ability to succeed. They don’t let self-doubt or negative thinking get in the way of their success.
Now that you know some of the benefits of loving yourself, let’s dive into how to cultivate that sense of self-love.
How to Learn to Love Yourself
Despite how it may seem, learning to love yourself isn’t always effortless. In fact, it can take real, hard, deep work. But there are some simple things you can do to make a big impact and help bring you closer to a sense of peace with yourself.
Here are 5 shifts that can help you get started on your self-love journey:
1. Speak Kindly to Yourself
One of the best ways to learn to love yourself is to pay attention to the words you use to talk about yourself both to others as well as to yourself. Through our own inner voice, we have the power to either lift ourselves up or tear ourselves down. Practice speaking kindly to yourself, treating yourself with compassion, and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes.
2. Give Yourself a High-Five
It may seem silly, but using this simple technique made popular by Mel Robbins in her book The High Five Habit can help you start your day off on the right foot. So look yourself in the eye, smile, give yourself a high-five, and tell yourself you’re going to crush your day. You can even trace your hand on your mirror with some eyeliner or lipstick to remind yourself.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Loving yourself also means setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. This means saying “no” when you need to and not tolerating being treated in a way that isn’t respectful. It also means taking care of and prioritizing your emotional and physical needs.
4. Practice Self-Care
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to practice self-care. This means making time for things that make you feel good, both physically and emotionally. It might mean taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or spending time with friends and family. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive.
Tip: For ideas of affordable ways to treat yourself, check out our article Top 10 Ways to Treat Yourself on a Budget
5. Use Affirmations
An affirmation is a positive statement that you repeat to yourself either out loud or in your head. By doing this, you’re essentially training your brain to focus on the positive.
Some examples of affirmations are:
- I am worthy of love and respect
- I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to
- I am strong and resilient
- I am beautiful inside and out
- I love and accept myself just as I am
To get started with affirmations, choose one that resonates with you and repeat it to yourself throughout the day, both when you wake up and before you go to bed. You can even write it down somewhere where you’ll see it often, like on a sticky note. You can even place it on your mirror next to your handprint and make affirmations a part of your morning high-five practice.
Learning to love yourself takes time and patience. It’s not something that will happen overnight, and you will experience setbacks throughout the journey. So be patient with yourself, and keep up the good work. You’ll get there eventually!
Can You Love Yourself if You Don’t Love Your Body?
Self-love isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be downright hard at times. For many women, this is especially true when it comes to our bodies.
We live in a world that tells us we need to be perfect. We need to have the perfect body, the perfect job, and the perfect relationship. And if we don’t have those things? Well, then, we’re not good enough.
As a result, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. We look in the mirror and see all of our flaws. We compare ourselves to others and feel like we don’t measure up. And as a result, we beat ourselves up – both emotionally and physically.
With so much focus on how we look, it can be hard to cultivate a sense of deep love for ourselves when we feel we don’t love our bodies.
This is where the concept of body neutrality comes in. Body neutrality is about accepting your body as it is, without judgment. It’s about recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to your appearance. It’s about learning to honor your body for what it is — a vessel that carries you through life — and learning to respect it and cultivate gratitude for the things it empowers you to do.
Final Thoughts
Learning to love yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time, patience, and practice. But it’s so worth it. Because when you learn to love yourself, you open up the door to a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment.
So start small. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Be patient with yourself. And most importantly, don’t give up. You deserve to love yourself – flaws and all.
